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This isn't some watered-down top 500 shit list that has to pay "homage"
to all the "classics" aka "boring old movies no one remembers that make
jokes about the cold war and the depression". THIS IS THE REAL DEAL
WARNING: NOT ACTUALLY IN ORDER, I JUST ADDED THE NUMBERS TO PROVE I CAN COUNT UP TO 10.
Horror films generally suck because they try to have a story that no one gives a shit about and to be funny only with their gory death scenes, but any moron can write those. You only need to convince a team of special effects wizards to bring your dumb ideas alive. HEY HOW ABOUT A GUY, RIGHT, WHO PUTS KNIVES IN A GUN AND SHOOTS A GUY IN THE EYES WITH THE KNIVES, THEN THE GUY FALLS INTO A MEAT GRINDER AND THEN YOU STOP THE MEAT GRINDER AFTER ALL HIS LEGS ARE THROUGH AND YOU FEED THE DUDE A LEGBURGER, THAT'S WHAT A HAMBURGER WOULD BE CALLED IF IT WAS MADE OF LEGS! Now all you need to pad up your 5 expensive death scenes is a long pointless story. 30 minutes after the movie starts, you've seen nothing but teenagers trying to have sex. Lame. Army of Darkness is 40 shades of ass kicking, all delivered with actual jokes! See, it takes only money to make gore, and people who make movies generally have that, but it takes TALENT to write jokes. Also: Bruce Campbell. Being in this movie for him was like inventing Coke. If you're the guy who invented Coke ( the drink... ) you can do no wrong. And if you're the guy who played Ash, you are a saint, even though you've never done anything even remotely decent before or after.
That movie is pure genius. Amazing combination of wit and visual humor. I thought it would blow ass when it came out but it turned out to be incredibly good! Now think about that for a second: how good must a movie be to change my opinion? I never change my opinion. I've been telling one of my friends that there are only 3 continents for 10 years now. AND I'M RIGHT, END OF DISCUSSION. The first one is the best, before things got too random and wacky and the sex jokes overshadowed everything else. Also, when you start playing every character in your movie, it gets annoying. Besides only Eddie Murphy can pull that off. Just kidding, "The Nutty Professor" is stupid.
You'll want to use all his catchphrases again and again after you've seen this movie. It might make you look like a total jackass when you say "SHA-WING" or 'EXCELLENT!" but it's worth it. So worth it. Even 15 years later. Warning: Dana Carvey sucks. May contain traces of Alice Cooper. This movie was filmed in a factory that processed Ballroom Blitz and the guy from Terminator 2.
A great feel-good movie. No one in it tries to be impossibly funny, and it has some of the best dialogues ever written. Steve Carell is a loveable loser and the short scene where Cal ( Seth Rogen ) answers the phone while writing his "novel" by pecking at the keys on an old typewriter is priceless.
Best slapstick/prop jokes ever. It's the kind of movie where anything can happen at any time and it's got one joke every 10 seconds. Possibly the highest concentration of good jokes ever found on film, though it gets pretty retarded at times. Sarcasm hadn't been invented back then, so it's excusable. Parodies Rambo, Top Gun, Terminator 2, Apocalypse Now, American Gladiator, Star Wars, Lady and the Tramp and some others, so you might want to check those out to fully enjoy this movie.
A decade after Army of Darkness, these guys have managed to create the SECOND good movie with zombies! This movie is over-the-top gore and contains really contrasting character types and situations. There are moments when you care about the main characters, and that's rare for a comedy, let alone any movie. And the ending is also pretty sweet. I want to watch game shows with zombies. "Hot Fuzz" is not a funny but still a decent movie.
Sick, morbid humor. This is the best Tarantino film and one of the all-around greatest movies ever. It's said that a good movie's every scene furthers the plot, but that's clearly bullshit because half of this movie has the characters randomly chatting about idiot things like French McDonald's. Also has a good dose of "what the fuck?" moments. The life of a criminal can be pretty hard.
A triple helping of stupid with an added sprinkle of idiot. I love that movie. There is no point. There is nothing to learn. It's the first time I ever saw a guy light one of his farts on fire. There's a guy selling a dead parakeet to a blind boy. Sounds like a winner to me.
I know a lot of people hate that movie. But they're idiots. I'm sorry. Everything about this movie kicks ass. Every "young" guy in this movie delivers his lines in a monotone voice that renders the insane things they say so much funnier. Also, what's the deal with that one guy in his classroom who's really loud and clearly 35? Warning: Contains Ligers.
When was the last time you saw people doing puppet humor? It's pretty nifty that the guys behind South Park chose another crappy medium to entertain us with. Maybe they'll bring us the gift of claymation next. Also I could say something pretentious like "One of the only movies that dared to make fun of North Korea and terrorism in a troubled America" but I really just laughed at the vomit. ============================================================================================== ============================================================================================== Close Calls: Christmas Vacation ( 1989 )( probably the closest of the bunch , would be number 11, but no one does top11 lists, that would be stupid. ) This is Spinal Tap ( 1984 ) Borat : Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Khazakhstan ( 2006 ) Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me ( 1999) Wayne's World 2 ( 1993 ) Happy Gilmore ( 1996 ) Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy ( 2004 ) Scary Movie ( 2000 ) ( yes I'm serious ) Vegas Vacation ( 1997 ) American Pie ( 1999 ) ( just as I was typing this, "Cherry Pie" started playing on my 2800 song playlist. Thought you should know. ) Office Space ( 1999 ) The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad ( 1988 ) Jackass Number Two ( 2006 ) ( You can't help but laugh ) Animal House ( 1978 ) Spaceballs ( 1987 ) The Big Lebowski ( 1998 ) Slap Shot ( 1977 ) : ONLY FUNNY IN FRENCH BECAUSE OF CRAZY TRANSLATION. Glaring "omissions" No Charlie Chaplin movies! While he may excel at being dead, his movies are shit by today's standards. You can't play the nostalgia card on them either unless you're 100 years old. Or you still drive a Ford model T. No Monty Python. I'm sorry, the songs are annoying and it's just not that funny. Seriously, it's NOT THAT FUNNY. It's like biting into really old stale smelly cheese. Maybe it was good at some point in time but there's just way fresher stuff. Also it causes constipation. No Clerks. That movie is boring. No Ghostbusters. I respect the whole mystic around those movies, but they're not that funny. Seriously. I want to murder Rick Moranis and it seems Bill Murray is the only guy even TRYING to be funny in there. It should be renamed "Riffing with Peter Venkman". No Dr. Strangelove. Are you shitting me? That movie is boring. No "SNL: The Best Of blablabla..." and standup comics. Those aren't movies you morons. So many lists on the net have them. Yeah very credible list; they don't even know what a movie is. No "Airplane!". Because I haven't seen it. |
