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Most diets require you to do two things:
-Shake your fat ass around -Eat less Well here's a diet that encourages you to eat more! A LOT MORE! In fact, the MORE YOU EAT, the more weight you will lose! What? Is this a joke? Are you going to tell us something stupid like "eat some acid jerks, hahaha". NO. I have an awesome weight loss plan. Here's what you need: - Ice Here's what you do: - Eat it What? That's super-crazy right? WRONG, ASSHOLE. HERE'S THE SCIENCE BEHIND MY AWESOME WEIGHT-LOSS PLAN: 1- When you eat ice, your body warms it up until it's at the same temperature as your internal organs. 2- Your body spends Calories to keep itself warm. 3- Calories come from excess fat and whatever food you eat. Therefore, your body will burn fat to warm up the ice! But how much ice do you need to eat? Behold, science: - 1 pound of fat = 3500 Calories - The human body temperature is 37 Celcius - Ice is at 0 Celcius ( or less, in fact the colder the ice you eat, the more weight you'll lose!!! ) - It takes one calorie to raise the temperature of 1 gram of water by 1 degree - There's like 30 grams in an ounce of water ( an ice cube ) Raising the temperature of an ice cube from 0 to 37 Celcius takes 1110 calories. ( 30 x 37 ) But that's a calorie and not a Calorie, since the imperial system is retarded. Hence it amounts to only 1.110 Calories. So all you have to do is eat around 3500 cubes of ice, and you'll MELT THOSE POUNDS AWAY! ha ha! |